This essay is the monologue provided by a young girl who gives us recollections of her boyfriend/lover who was diagnosed with Leukemia. Most of the essay is the writer expressing how she was more affected by the loss of her sex life with her boyfriend than the emotional separation that she experienced.
Did I like this essay? No. I couldn't disagree more with this girl in terms of what her relationship was based on. Did she truly know her boyfriend on the personal side? Perhaps, But she didn't supply us with a lot of depth in regards to his personality other than to say that he was imaginative and easy to talk to. Seems Neil was her first sexual encounter and that attached her to him. Her relational dysfunction is further shown by her demeanor directly after Neil's death. She states that she went back on the hunt for a boyfriend too soon and this was probably due to her being so sexually disconnected. When I was reading this essay I couldn't help but think this girl has a HUGE sex drive and it really showed.
Don't get me wrong, I understand her, but I think that she is too into the physical as far as relationships go and not so much into the personal relationship. Think of it this way, had she not been so sexually active as a younger girl she wouldn't have been so emotionally attached to Neil. This wouldn't have lessened her sadness during his illness and death, but it would've helped her move on and develop healthier relationships later in life. I believe that sex is something should be waited on for until you are married because its much more than just a physical encounter -- it ties you to that person for the rest of your life. When you continue to be sexually active you are literally giving yourself away to the people you are with and by the time you are married it just makes that union less important. That's the way I see it and that is why I had such a hard time feeling any connection to this author and her way of life.
1. Do you believe Jennifer's emphasis on missing her and Neil's sex life is unnatural? In other words, do you think that if your boyfriend or girlfriend died you would miss their body more than their personality?
2. From what the author provided, what kind of person do you think Neil was?
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2 comments:
I can't believe I didn't see things this way until I read your response. Maybe I fell asleep while reading her essay...? But anyways, who would miss someone's body more than their personalilty after a death...no one. That was definitly not something people should do. Unless the author forgot to relate to us that they had more than a physical one, I think she was pretty narrow minded when it came to relationships. I know if I lost my girlfriend, the thing I would miss the most is her, who she is, not what she is. Good points.
-Andrew
hey evan
I totally agree with your views on her relationship with neil. I believe that if my boyfriend died tomorrow I would miss his personality and the things he does on a regular basis. But my relationships aren't based on just physical attractions. I think that might be the way shes coping, since their relationship was only physical. I think Neil was a a good boyfriend in their relationship but it based on physical things
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